Joey, Joey, Joey

Joey, Joey, Joey
Joey, Joey, Joey, Joe

You've been too long
In one place
And it's time to go
Time to go.

Joey, Joey, Joey

Joey, travel on.
You've been too long
In one town
And the harvest time's
Come and gone.

That's what the wind
Sings to you
When the bunk you've been bunkin' in
Gets to feelin' too soft and cozy.

I sing, Joey
Joey, Joey
Joey, Joey, Joe

You've been too long,
In one place,
And it's time to go.
Time to go.

Joey, Joey, Joe

My mother used to sing that song to me when I was a child. I think that she was like me in that one word will set off the memory of a song and it keeps playing in your mind until you have to let it out. Since she heard my name often, the song probably played pretty regularly in her head. I thought she'd made the song up until I was twelve and one of my friends mother's sang it when she heard my name for the first time. Catchy tune.

But the song fits. I've been in one place too long.

As a child, I was the skinniest little thing you ever saw. My dad used to joke that I had to jump around in the shower to get wet. I was always wafer thin until my early twenties, garnering comments from friends, family, and even strangers; usually "You need to eat more."

And then something happened. I'm not quite sure what. But the 30 years since have been marked by dieting, losing weight, being thin, gaining weight, being fat, and then starting all over again. And it all began with wanting to lose five pounds!

I am weary with the cycle. What are the metaphors that fit? Merry-go-round, roller coaster, treadmill, battle. Whatever the metaphors, living the life has been unrelenting.

I have often said that my relationship with food is the most complex relationship of my life. Food is the friend. Food is the foe. I spend way too much time and way too much energy on this relationship. Often this relationship is the priority. Sometimes other relationships have suffered because of it. This is the relationship that drains me.

However, it's not food that is the problem. It's not my body that is the obstacle. It's how I think about food that is the tether. It's my thoughts that hold my body prisoner.

So here I am to chronicle the journey as I redefine my relationship with food, my relationship with my body, and; ultimately, as I redefine Joey. This is my travelog.

I'm going to learn how to let go of the fat girl who has lived in my head for way too long. And you, dear reader, are invited to come along on my journey.

Come on. It's time to go.