Eating Buddies

Tomorrow my husband and I celebrate our 3rd anniversary. Neither of us has been as big as we are right now. We are eating buddies. I really realized that after last weekend. I won't catalog the M&M's, Famous Dave's, etc., etc., etc.

Nevertheless I paid a price at the scale today. 8/10 of a pound or 12.5 ounces. At least it wasn't the other way. And it was the result of the weekend. Not just the weekend only, but I fear the nature of our relationship. Ironically, the lesson at WW was about not letting the scale determine our mood. The leader said that she had one woman who would say over and over, "I love myself no matter what. I love myself no matter what."

Well, I need some kind of mantra. I'm not lovin' myself no matter what these days. Sadly, my weight is a reflection of my struggles since we've been married. It has not been a walk in the park, for either me or my husband.

But the thing I didn't expect is the danger of living with an eating buddy. Today we went to the mall to buy him an anniversary present. We walked in through the food court. There we passed Rocky Mountain Chocolates, Panda Express, Sbarro, etc., etc., etc. Into the mall where we saw Godiva Chocolates, V Chocolates, and didn't head all the way down to See's Candy. Oh my. My husband settled on 2 cookies from Mrs. Fields. On the way in, I had spyed TCBY and expressed a longing. My husband, always eager to please, steered me into the ice cream shop where a lone worker tried to ply her wares. But I held steady. I really didn't need TCBY, so in spite of my husband's urging; we left the shop.

But how do you keep will power at a high level when your eating buddy is with you day in day out?

I came home and exercised for 15 minutes, which was better than nothing, to a Biggest Loser Workout. Most discouraging to see how bad my fitness level is right now.

So now I am hungry and want to eat when I was full from a healthy dinner only 3 hours ago. Why, oh why, can't full last?

Back in the Saddle

I went to WW today. They are starting a push "Lose For Good." For the next 7 weeks, WW will match weight loss and give food to the poor. According to the reader, 1.5 billion are overweight on this planet Earth and 300,000 million are underfed. I can't swear by the statistics, since I'm no good at numbers. But I do remember that underfed are less than overfed. When did this happen?

I have been listening to a book on tape that says that we have all been trained like Pavlov's dogs to respond to sugary/fatty foods. Our brain neurons have actually been rewired to crave and respond to the things that are not good for us. When did this happen?

Our young women brought Niel over cookies to thank him for his service at church. The cookies were as big as both of my hands put together. Cookies used to be small enough to be held in Lil' Pete's hand. When did this happen?

I used to be a wisp of a willow girl and now I'm shaped like my Mom. When did this happen?

Wish me luck. I plan to journal 5/7 days this week and exercise 4/7. I hope to have some weight loss that can feed some person in a poorer part of the planet than I.

Last Supper

Okay. I have a date in mind to climb back in the saddle and back on track. It is a week from now. And the oddest thing happens when you are anticipating controlling your eating. I've heard it referred to the "Last Supper" syndrome. It is where you find yourself eating uncontrollably because tomorrow "We diet!"

Well, that's not exactly what's happening here, but the past few weeks have been as food filled for me as the holiday season. My son's wedding complete with wedding cake (it was wonderful, by the way), a trip out of town (where they served 2 warm chocolate chip cookies on each flight and I had a total of 4 flights due to connections), celebrating birthdays (two friends in one day).

And right now I feel so full I feel as if I could never eat again. Now why can't I keep that feeling? Wouldn't it be wonderful?

Tomorrow, thankfully, looks like it will be a normal, no celebration, day. It's about time.